Miss Blimey and Betty hates Veronica had been doing liquorish shots at the Hogwash tavern for the past three hours and were well and truly sloshed. They had just gotten to the point where singing sea chanteys was looking like a good option when a half crazed lunatic whirled in through the door and slammed into their table.

"Whoa there sailor," said Miss Blimey bursting into giggles.

"Yeah, where's your sense of balance?" asked Betty hates Veronica

"Lasses, I don't have much time left and I must entrust you with this," he said slamming a crumpled scroll down on the table.

"What, some old paper?" laughed Betty H.V

"No, it is a map to the Harlot's Treasure," said the sailor in all seriousness before collapsing to his death on the floor.

"Blimey!" said Miss Blimey, bending over and trying to focus on the fallen sailor.

"Harlot's treasure?" repeated Betty H.V, who was in no state to deal with reality at this point. Miss Blimey sat back up in her chair and placed her hand on the map. This was almost too surreal, and she honestly wondered if she was hallucinating. There were almost no real treasures left to be found on the high seas these days and the chances of a dying sailor bestowing a treasure map on a pirate were almost impossible to determine. Miss Blimey stood up unsteadily, clutching the map tightly in her fist and turned to Betty H.V.

"Come on, we have to get back to the Raven and look at this thing," decided Miss Blimey.

"Why? It's just an old map," slurred Betty H.V.

But Miss Blimey's instincts told her that the sailor was telling the truth, and that there was a real treasure to be found so she wanted to get back to the safety of the Raven. Miss Blimey had never been looking for hidden treasure before and the prospect of going on an adventure was just to good to pass up.

Back on board the Raven Betty H.V passed out in a chair whilst Miss Blimey leant over the map at the desk in her quarters. The map was indeed very old and yellowed, torn in some places, burnt in others. The ink was faded but still readable and within the words could be found the directions to the Harlot's Treasure. Miss Blimey took out her compass, a beautifully engraved work of art carved from obsidian, and began plotting the course they would follow to riches. Some time in the early morning she too passed out slumping peacefully across the desk.

The following morning Betty H.V awoke with a powerful yearning for coffee, which she promptly sated, taking Miss Blimey a cup also. She found her captain sleeping at her desk and chose not to wake her, but instead picked up the map and Miss Blimey's notes and sat in one of the plush velvet chairs with a little ray of sunshine warming her back as she read. Miss Blimey had almost finished plotting the course and Betty H.V was looking forward to this adventure. Presently Miss Blimey woke and automatically reached for the coffee cup. Sitting up slowly she turned to her first mate and asked what she thought of her calculations.

"Looks right to me, I'll get the ship ready and we can be off within the hour," replied Betty H.V.

"Thanks, I'll be up shortly, I just need to change these clothes," smiled Miss Blimey and went to get changed whilst Betty H.V went about her duties.

One hour later they were flying over the water towards a stereotypically little known, uncharted island. Miss Blimey stood at the helm with a determined air whilst Betty H.V manned the sails. Rawkous was perched happily in the crows nest singing a rather rude little ditty whose words I will not repeat here.

After a days sailing Miss Blimey finally spotted something.

"Land Ho!" she cried.

Betty H.V burst into giggles. "You just always wanted to say that didn't you?" she asked.

"But of course, what pyrate doesn't?" retorted Miss Blimey smiling warmly, and looking skywards as Rawkous flew down and landed on her shoulder.

"Hey bird," said Miss Blimey affectionately. "What could you see up there?"

"Swoo Whoo, well as far as I can see it's a pretty average looking island, few trees, caves, that sort of thing," replied Rawkous.

"Hmmmm," mused Miss Blimey. "Anywhere to anchor safely?"

"Not really, you'll have to take a dingy, rarrrwk," answered Rawkous

"Fine, we'll do that, come on Betty H.V, let's get this thing happening," stated Miss Blimey and together they went to lower the dingy as Rawkous watched on.

It didn't take long to reach the island, and soon they were trudging up the beach with Rawkous flying overhead to look out for anything that may be considered a danger, but Miss Blimey was pretty sure they were alone. Miss Blimey got out the map and began pacing along with the directions, cursing silently the person who had invented pacing as a way of finding hidden treasure. For half a day they followed the lunatic instructions and it didn't take long for Miss Blimey to realise that they were slowly going in circles which simply got smaller and smaller, closing in towards the centre of the island. Miss Blimey now cursed the harlot who had written the map, obviously a joker with a bad sense of humour, and decided to cut to the chase going straight to the cave at the island's heart.

Inside the cave, it was darkish, and relatively bat free, the sunlight from outside cast an eerie glow about the place. In the centre of the cave was a gnarled wooden sign that said 'HOT'.

"Ha, ha" smiled Miss Blimey wryly.

"OK, so we found a sign, what next?" asked Betty H.V.

"We dig I guess, that's what would normally happen," replied Miss Blimey, not sounding very sure of herself.

"Rarrrwk," squawked up Rawkous. "Swoo Whoo, no need, look over there."

In the corner was a large red chest, inlaid with gold. It was very beautiful.

"What do you want to do with it? Open it now or get it back to the ship?" asked Betty H.V.

"Lets open it here, just in case," decided Miss Blimey taking out a large crow bar she had hidden in her cleavage and jimmying the lock open.

Upon lifting the lid of the chest Miss Blimey and Betty hates Veronica both gasped in unison for inside the box was not gold, nor silver, nor doubloon but piles and piles of corsets mixed in with some costume jewellery.

"Cool!" stated Betty H.V. "I hope those fit, I need some new corsets."

"Well, I guess indeed it is a Harlot's Treasure," laughed Miss Blimey

"Filthy," observed Rawkous.

"Yes, but they'll wash up nice," replied Miss Blimey and lowered the lid of the box, signalling for Betty H.V to help her carry their quarry back to the dingy.

"What a weird treasure, no wonder the sailor didn't want it," said Betty H.V.

"Maybe, or maybe he put it there in the first place," suggested Miss Blimey stifling a giggle.

"Never thought of it that way," agreed Betty H.V and together they loaded the couture into the dingy and headed back to the Raven for a night of liquorish shots and dress-ups.

The End