Sunday 5 October
Nothing says I don't care faster than tracksuit pants.
Wednesday 1 October
Get on it like a baked ham. Hmmmmm. What if you don't like ham? Can you get on it like a baked Alaska? And why is ice-cream baked in sponge-cake named after a country? This world is weird....
Monday 29 September
I don't like Mondays.
Wednesday 24 September
I hear that Pieces of Eight #3 is due out in October - more piratical tales of adventures and even nastier miscreants to encounter. Arrrrgh it be set to be a good'un.
Sunday 21 September
When is a pirate not a pirate? When they're a privateer.... I know it's an awful riddle - it's not even a joke. That fool bird Napalm told me - he were laughin' aboot it fer ages - that parrot has some funny ideas sometimes.
Friday 19 September
AVAST YE LANDLUBBERS!!!
Ye scoundrels and rapscallions, miscreants and generally miserable sods - today be a very special day - a day to celebrate the complete misuse of language the our ancestor's of yesteryear see fit to descend upon us all - Ya Harrr! Get your pirate on you bilge rats, open a flagon and drink yer fill and dance a jig of sorts and cut yer jib on this very fine day - be it on yer head if ye don't - Arrrrrrrrgh!!
Tuesday 15 September
International 'Talk like a pirate day' is nearly upon us - September 19 to be exact. Head to www.talklikeapirate.com for more information me heartys - Ya Harrrr!
Friday 12 September
Can Pirates ever be accused of selling out? If a pirate gets too well known is that breaking the pirate code? Me wonders. What is the point of bein' a pirate known in all the ports if ye cannot get some reward out of it? A pirates life is to plunder, but if they know ye and can see ye comin' then don't this fame be workin' agin ye? I'm tired of signin bits o paper.
Tuesday 9 September
I hear on the pirate-line that that Cap'n Bottle Green Beard Mayhem managed to get scurvy! I mean in this day an age how can that be? Just goes to show what a dirty, lazy old sod he was after all..... oh and if you can't remember who he is check out the Blimey History in the tales section landluvvers!
Saturday 6 September
Today I gots a new corset. Corsets be good for a lass to wear for number of reasons, least of all because the steel laced through them is great protection again swords and such. Many a lubber has asked me why I continue to wear a corset in this age, but now you know. Arrrgh!
Wednesday 3 September
Someone told me yesterday about the Three R's - Arrrrrgh - Arrrrrrgh - Arrrrrgh - I like it!
Sunday 31 August
If there be one thing that I cannot stand it be people who try to make their mark in this world but don't have the courage to come up with their own ideas and "borrow" from other people. Give credit where credit be due and don't rip off the imagination of others.
Love your pirate!
Wednesday 27 August
The night has fallen and I cannot sleep. The Raven be rocking gently but my mind wanders to current circumstances.... I toss and turn until the dawn breaks and another night is over and i long for the peaceful sleep of those who know they be damned and cannot do naught but accept it..
Thursday 21 August
I think I be needin' a new eye patch. The one I have at the moment be starting to get scratchy and seein' as I have had it so long now it may be time for a change. How did I loose my eye? Yarr, that be a story for another time....
Saturday 16 August
The moon be full tonight out on the ocean and my mind wanders to what ever happened to those werewolves we met up with a while ago. They were some right interesting characters indeed. I wonder if it hurts turning into a wolf from a human person, or if it's frustrating because you can't stop it. Would it spoil their dinner parties? hmmmmmmmm....
Wednesday 13 August
The bird - my parrot Napalm, had another episode today. Sometimes he is just so highly strung and needs to chill out a bit.... You have to be so careful winding him up lest he start cursing his precious little head off. I do love him though.... Arrrrgh!
Tuesday 5 August
It be funny when I hear how people be angry at me because I've made a name for myself on the seven and a half seas, but I need remind them that I spent many a year in obscurity, honing my skill and learning the ways of the sea before I even got me own ship. Sometimes it's tiring being constantly challenged but I say bring it on landluvvers! I will not let ye bring me doon.
Saturday 2 August
Why are pirates so brilliant? Because they just Arrrrrrrgh! Yes, yes I know it's a bad joke but I am having one of those mornings! The sail tore on the main mast again, and I am not one for sewing up holes at great height.... maybe I can convince the bird to do it....
Wednesday 30 July
Every now and then even pirates need a great big hug.
Wednesday 23 July
Look around the space you're in and I am sure you will find an object here or there that is responsible for some very strange noises indeed. This I have just discovered myself as the door to one of the most miscellaneous rooms on the Raven makes an oddly familiar noise when it closes. It too me so long to work out what it was but now I have finally figured it out. It's an obscure reference granted but a fun one - the door replicates the growl (if you can call it that) of a Ton-Ton - you know those animals at the start of the Empire Strikes Back that Luke and Han are riding around on? Weird!!
Monday 21 July
Lightsabers have no place aboard a pirate ship - as I have been continually trying to impress upon the Jedi of Piraticalsithius, but they will not listen. Yesterday they managed to set their main sail aflame during morning saber training. I fear it won't be long before someone looses an eye... they do look like a lot of fun however. Perhaps i shall get one....
Monday 7 July
Arrrrrgh! It has been some week. We managed to locate the teetotalers and their ship - they were in the midst of towing some poor soul in a dingy behind their ship. This I must state, and loudly, is not what to do with drunken sailors! After a bit of a scuffle Betty H.V, Vincent and I had rid the sea of these fearsome twits, though there is still the chance that there are more out there trying to answer the songs of old with their logic. You never know...
Wednesday 2 July
It's a dry ocean at the moment as there is a new threat on the sea. A rogue band of teetotalers is roving about on the sea trying as hard as they can to answer the question: What shall we do with the drunken sailor?. Apparently they are quite nasty so I have banned any form of naughty alcoholic drinks from the ship until we can catch these misguided fools before they hurt anyone else. Wish me luck!
Sunday 29 June
Napalm, that nutty bird, has managed somehow to get a tattoo of a skull'n'crossbones on his chest. He looks rather silly at present as he has a little shaved patch where once his fine feathers had been. Betty H.V and I could not stop giggling and I just had to ask as to how he expected to keep 'shaving' his little chest so the tattoo could be seen. Napalm did not think this at all funny and he's currently having a little sulk. What I want to know is how he convinced someone to tattoo him in the first lace! Silly bird....
Thursday 26 June
The other day we was speaking of digital watches, Vincent and I, after we both saw people wearing the old school 80s style ones and we both mentioned at how funny twas because that was a fad from so long ago - though it now occurs to me that why we thought windey watches were more modern is a bit odd.... hmmmmmm....I guess it be time to find some trouble. Digital watches be not a piratey train of thought. Ya Har!
Monday 23 June
What would aliens think of pirates? Would they be scared to take them on board their spaceships in case the pirates took over - being superior to aliens of course simply by way of being piratical? Are there still space pirates out there?? Do space ships have anchors and hoe would you moor them? So many questions abound when it comes to space and aliens but tis nice to muse on such things when the wind be calm and the weather clement - 'mean its not like we're going anywhere in a hurry today!
Friday 20 June
Yo ho ho thar! I be given a lot of thought to the Pirates Vs Ninjas conundrum today. I was watching that thar movie Underworld the other eve with Vincent and Betty H.V, and the drunken question was raised as to why the werewolves were so damn scruffy when the vampires were dressed in finery (the moving being about the fight for supremacy between vampires and werewolves). It seems to me that this type of thinking is very similar to the Ninjas Vs Pirates debate. Pirates are always represented as being scoundrelous and uncouth (how dare they! Ya Har!) whereas Ninjas are presented as being cultured and refined. Well if that be their thinking - that's fine with me - Ninjas are boring anyway - I can't think of anything more dull than sneaking around throwing stars at people's heads. Be out in the open about yeselves I dare ye and see where ye get! The challenge is on - not to fight but to be garish! How wonderful would the world be if it was full of garish and loud Ninjas. What fun!
Oh and by the way, having encountered werewolves before I can assure you that they aren't scruffy in the slightest, a bit gruff perhaps but other than that they are only ever so slightly ill mannered.
Arrrrrgh! xoxo
Wednesday 18 June 2008
One would be right to think that Pirates spend a great deal of their sleeping life dreaming about treasure and rum and other such pleasures, but this fair lass seems to be continuously plagued by night terrors. Lately I be dreaming a lot about Vincent Blackshodaow, the Zombie love of my past. I keep seeing the destruction of his village and the Zombie folk being slain. I awake lying in a pool of my own tears. I find it hard to reconcile this involuntary invasion of my emotions by my unconscious but I guess that is the only place these fears can be faced leaving me to roam the seas with courage and Arrrrrgh!
A good nights sleep would be nice though. Grrrrrrrrr!
xoxo
Friday 13 June 2008
The seas be fair rocky and grumpy today as we head to the nearest port for supplies and take ye chances with this cruel mistress. This being a lucky day for witches and goblins, fairies and other such mischievous creatures we felt we should do something rightly special for those who often cross our path be they friend nor foe. Friday 13 is also a special day for pirates, whether ye know it or not. This be a day when many a pirate has succumbed to the Whiskywine Harlot who is known to track us on this day and challenge our honour, and our sobriety. She better not come this way though - I not be in the mood right now, having just been attacked by a rather large wave. I'm off to get changed. Blimey! xoxo
Miss Blimey tales & characters copyright Jo Spurling for all of eternity - you copy you perish!
Nothing says I don't care faster than tracksuit pants.
Wednesday 1 October
Get on it like a baked ham. Hmmmmm. What if you don't like ham? Can you get on it like a baked Alaska? And why is ice-cream baked in sponge-cake named after a country? This world is weird....
Monday 29 September
I don't like Mondays.
Wednesday 24 September
I hear that Pieces of Eight #3 is due out in October - more piratical tales of adventures and even nastier miscreants to encounter. Arrrrgh it be set to be a good'un.
Sunday 21 September
When is a pirate not a pirate? When they're a privateer.... I know it's an awful riddle - it's not even a joke. That fool bird Napalm told me - he were laughin' aboot it fer ages - that parrot has some funny ideas sometimes.
Friday 19 September
AVAST YE LANDLUBBERS!!!
Ye scoundrels and rapscallions, miscreants and generally miserable sods - today be a very special day - a day to celebrate the complete misuse of language the our ancestor's of yesteryear see fit to descend upon us all - Ya Harrr! Get your pirate on you bilge rats, open a flagon and drink yer fill and dance a jig of sorts and cut yer jib on this very fine day - be it on yer head if ye don't - Arrrrrrrrgh!!
Tuesday 15 September
International 'Talk like a pirate day' is nearly upon us - September 19 to be exact. Head to www.talklikeapirate.com for more information me heartys - Ya Harrrr!
Friday 12 September
Can Pirates ever be accused of selling out? If a pirate gets too well known is that breaking the pirate code? Me wonders. What is the point of bein' a pirate known in all the ports if ye cannot get some reward out of it? A pirates life is to plunder, but if they know ye and can see ye comin' then don't this fame be workin' agin ye? I'm tired of signin bits o paper.
Tuesday 9 September
I hear on the pirate-line that that Cap'n Bottle Green Beard Mayhem managed to get scurvy! I mean in this day an age how can that be? Just goes to show what a dirty, lazy old sod he was after all..... oh and if you can't remember who he is check out the Blimey History in the tales section landluvvers!
Saturday 6 September
Today I gots a new corset. Corsets be good for a lass to wear for number of reasons, least of all because the steel laced through them is great protection again swords and such. Many a lubber has asked me why I continue to wear a corset in this age, but now you know. Arrrgh!
Wednesday 3 September
Someone told me yesterday about the Three R's - Arrrrrgh - Arrrrrrgh - Arrrrrgh - I like it!
Sunday 31 August
If there be one thing that I cannot stand it be people who try to make their mark in this world but don't have the courage to come up with their own ideas and "borrow" from other people. Give credit where credit be due and don't rip off the imagination of others.
Love your pirate!
Wednesday 27 August
The night has fallen and I cannot sleep. The Raven be rocking gently but my mind wanders to current circumstances.... I toss and turn until the dawn breaks and another night is over and i long for the peaceful sleep of those who know they be damned and cannot do naught but accept it..
Thursday 21 August
I think I be needin' a new eye patch. The one I have at the moment be starting to get scratchy and seein' as I have had it so long now it may be time for a change. How did I loose my eye? Yarr, that be a story for another time....
Saturday 16 August
The moon be full tonight out on the ocean and my mind wanders to what ever happened to those werewolves we met up with a while ago. They were some right interesting characters indeed. I wonder if it hurts turning into a wolf from a human person, or if it's frustrating because you can't stop it. Would it spoil their dinner parties? hmmmmmmmm....
Wednesday 13 August
The bird - my parrot Napalm, had another episode today. Sometimes he is just so highly strung and needs to chill out a bit.... You have to be so careful winding him up lest he start cursing his precious little head off. I do love him though.... Arrrrgh!
Tuesday 5 August
It be funny when I hear how people be angry at me because I've made a name for myself on the seven and a half seas, but I need remind them that I spent many a year in obscurity, honing my skill and learning the ways of the sea before I even got me own ship. Sometimes it's tiring being constantly challenged but I say bring it on landluvvers! I will not let ye bring me doon.
Saturday 2 August
Why are pirates so brilliant? Because they just Arrrrrrrgh! Yes, yes I know it's a bad joke but I am having one of those mornings! The sail tore on the main mast again, and I am not one for sewing up holes at great height.... maybe I can convince the bird to do it....
Wednesday 30 July
Every now and then even pirates need a great big hug.
Wednesday 23 July
Look around the space you're in and I am sure you will find an object here or there that is responsible for some very strange noises indeed. This I have just discovered myself as the door to one of the most miscellaneous rooms on the Raven makes an oddly familiar noise when it closes. It too me so long to work out what it was but now I have finally figured it out. It's an obscure reference granted but a fun one - the door replicates the growl (if you can call it that) of a Ton-Ton - you know those animals at the start of the Empire Strikes Back that Luke and Han are riding around on? Weird!!
Monday 21 July
Lightsabers have no place aboard a pirate ship - as I have been continually trying to impress upon the Jedi of Piraticalsithius, but they will not listen. Yesterday they managed to set their main sail aflame during morning saber training. I fear it won't be long before someone looses an eye... they do look like a lot of fun however. Perhaps i shall get one....
Monday 7 July
Arrrrrgh! It has been some week. We managed to locate the teetotalers and their ship - they were in the midst of towing some poor soul in a dingy behind their ship. This I must state, and loudly, is not what to do with drunken sailors! After a bit of a scuffle Betty H.V, Vincent and I had rid the sea of these fearsome twits, though there is still the chance that there are more out there trying to answer the songs of old with their logic. You never know...
Wednesday 2 July
It's a dry ocean at the moment as there is a new threat on the sea. A rogue band of teetotalers is roving about on the sea trying as hard as they can to answer the question: What shall we do with the drunken sailor?. Apparently they are quite nasty so I have banned any form of naughty alcoholic drinks from the ship until we can catch these misguided fools before they hurt anyone else. Wish me luck!
Sunday 29 June
Napalm, that nutty bird, has managed somehow to get a tattoo of a skull'n'crossbones on his chest. He looks rather silly at present as he has a little shaved patch where once his fine feathers had been. Betty H.V and I could not stop giggling and I just had to ask as to how he expected to keep 'shaving' his little chest so the tattoo could be seen. Napalm did not think this at all funny and he's currently having a little sulk. What I want to know is how he convinced someone to tattoo him in the first lace! Silly bird....
Thursday 26 June
The other day we was speaking of digital watches, Vincent and I, after we both saw people wearing the old school 80s style ones and we both mentioned at how funny twas because that was a fad from so long ago - though it now occurs to me that why we thought windey watches were more modern is a bit odd.... hmmmmmm....I guess it be time to find some trouble. Digital watches be not a piratey train of thought. Ya Har!
Monday 23 June
What would aliens think of pirates? Would they be scared to take them on board their spaceships in case the pirates took over - being superior to aliens of course simply by way of being piratical? Are there still space pirates out there?? Do space ships have anchors and hoe would you moor them? So many questions abound when it comes to space and aliens but tis nice to muse on such things when the wind be calm and the weather clement - 'mean its not like we're going anywhere in a hurry today!
Friday 20 June
Yo ho ho thar! I be given a lot of thought to the Pirates Vs Ninjas conundrum today. I was watching that thar movie Underworld the other eve with Vincent and Betty H.V, and the drunken question was raised as to why the werewolves were so damn scruffy when the vampires were dressed in finery (the moving being about the fight for supremacy between vampires and werewolves). It seems to me that this type of thinking is very similar to the Ninjas Vs Pirates debate. Pirates are always represented as being scoundrelous and uncouth (how dare they! Ya Har!) whereas Ninjas are presented as being cultured and refined. Well if that be their thinking - that's fine with me - Ninjas are boring anyway - I can't think of anything more dull than sneaking around throwing stars at people's heads. Be out in the open about yeselves I dare ye and see where ye get! The challenge is on - not to fight but to be garish! How wonderful would the world be if it was full of garish and loud Ninjas. What fun!
Oh and by the way, having encountered werewolves before I can assure you that they aren't scruffy in the slightest, a bit gruff perhaps but other than that they are only ever so slightly ill mannered.
Arrrrrgh! xoxo
Wednesday 18 June 2008
One would be right to think that Pirates spend a great deal of their sleeping life dreaming about treasure and rum and other such pleasures, but this fair lass seems to be continuously plagued by night terrors. Lately I be dreaming a lot about Vincent Blackshodaow, the Zombie love of my past. I keep seeing the destruction of his village and the Zombie folk being slain. I awake lying in a pool of my own tears. I find it hard to reconcile this involuntary invasion of my emotions by my unconscious but I guess that is the only place these fears can be faced leaving me to roam the seas with courage and Arrrrrgh!
A good nights sleep would be nice though. Grrrrrrrrr!
xoxo
Friday 13 June 2008
The seas be fair rocky and grumpy today as we head to the nearest port for supplies and take ye chances with this cruel mistress. This being a lucky day for witches and goblins, fairies and other such mischievous creatures we felt we should do something rightly special for those who often cross our path be they friend nor foe. Friday 13 is also a special day for pirates, whether ye know it or not. This be a day when many a pirate has succumbed to the Whiskywine Harlot who is known to track us on this day and challenge our honour, and our sobriety. She better not come this way though - I not be in the mood right now, having just been attacked by a rather large wave. I'm off to get changed. Blimey! xoxo
Miss Blimey tales & characters copyright Jo Spurling for all of eternity - you copy you perish!
